Laura Lollar

Communication Consultant, Speaker, Writer

Communication

Secrets of the DISC High I Influencer Behavioral Style

As a Colorado Springs DISC facilitator I’ve often wondered, why do people do the things they do? Some folks will inspire you, some will mystify you and others, well, you just have to laugh!

Colorado Springs DISC Facilitator

So, after years of presenting DISC trainings, I’ve collected a few examples people shared about their own humorous behaviors. 

Here are a few from the “High I” Influencer folks. They will:

  • Call a friend and leave multiple messages on the voicemail recording because they run out of time on the first one.
  • Put scented garbage bags in every trashcan (including in the garage), hang air fresheners in their car and buy fragrance plugins for every room.
  • Read obituaries in the newspaper to see who they know. Or, in my Mom’s case, she looks there first to be sure she’s not listed!
  • Decorate their offices with plants, motivational posters and lots of family photos. They’ve even been known to put miniature beanie baby animals on top of their computer monitors.
  • Firmly believe “the more bling, the better!”
  • Never use a checkbook register, but occasionally login to their online bank account to make sure there’s still money left.
  • Share more details about themselves, friends, family and people you’ll never meet than you ever want to know.
  • Put a candy dish on their desk so people will stop by and visit them.

Got any more to add to the list? Feel free to put it in the comments below.

DISC Facilitator Learns a Lesson

Influencers, of which I am one, prefer freedom from details. For example: while conducting a training session, I was in the middle of writing key learning points on a whiteboard when, from the back of the room, I heard a groan.

I turned. “Stephen, what’s up?”

“Why do you write like that?”

“Like what?”

“Why do you mix upper and lowercase letters when you’re writing something? It’s driving me crazy!”

Everyone in the room looked back around to what I’d just written on the whiteboard. 

Someone laughed. Someone snorted and said, “It’s true! She DOES mix them up!”

KiNd oF LikE tHis.

And indeed I did. I hadn’t noticed until then, but I DO mix my upper and lowercase letters, especially when I’m writing something in a hurry. And to me, it’s no big deal.

But it was having a big impact on Stephen. He’s an analytical kind of person and admits to also being a perfectionist. My lack of correct letter case use was a distraction and was getting in the way of his learning process. He was focused more on how I was writing than the oh-so wise and wonderful concepts I was trying to teach.

We all had a good laugh and, just for him, I made an effort to discipline my writing. It taught me a good lesson that some details, which don’t matter much to me, are pretty important to others.

Typical Influencer Behavioral Traits

In addition to freedom from details, Influencers tend to be social, well-connected, optimistic and enthusiastic. They are good at creating a motivational environment and tend to move through the world with energy.

They like to voice opinions, propose solutions, share ideas and verbalize proposals. In other words, they like freedom of expression and strive to have an impact over others. They also like freedom from control.

Reputation is important to these folks. They like bringing people together, making introductions and are often amazed that those within their social circles may not know one another.

But done to excess, High I behaviors can be seen as manipulative, impulsive, unprepared, unfocused and unable to follow through. Because of this, their more conscientious (High C) colleagues often don’t take them seriously and may question their credibility. The Influencer’s attraction to proverbial “shiny objects” and love of socializing may keep them from getting the job done.

And despite what you might guess, High I people aren’t always extroverts. They can be on the quieter side and may prefer to spend time with one or two friends versus being around large groups of people. Too much social stimulation can be exhausting for introverted types.

A Strategic Tool

While we Influencers like to “go with the flow”, we benefit from partnering up with others who bring more structure into life. My husband (the “High C” engineer) is a great process guy. After we got married, I learned it was frustrating for him to never know whether dishes in the dishwasher were clean or dirty. So we devised a method to indicate what condition they were in.

To avoid mixing dirty dishes with the clean ones, we decided to stick a magnet on the front of the dishwasher. When the dishes are clean, it’s right side up.

When they’re dirty, we turn the magnet upside down.

It’s a really great system — a thing of beauty, actually. Now, I just need a process to help me remember to flip the darned thing around!

P.S. Click here to read my earlier post about the DISC High D Dominant style.

Secrets of Your Personality Style

I get such a kick out of people-watching and personality styles. We never got much schooling on this when we were kids or even in college. So it was a real eye-opener to learn at work why we do the mystifying things we do. I’ve spent decades teaching corporate types and coaching clients about these skills and love seeing the looks on people’s faces when their personality assessment nails it. Nine times out of ten, they say it’s 90-95% accurate.

This article is not intended to sell you a personality assessment (although if you want one, I can certainly make that happen). It IS the first part of a mini-course on the four typical behavioral styles. You’ll find this of value in case you want to figure out your significant other, teenager, manager or do a deep dive into your own preferences. Even if you’ve taken an assessment in the past, I may explore some areas you didn’t get in a previous class.

In the next four articles, I’ll share the traits and strengths of each style. This post will kick it off with an overview. But first, a story!

My Parking Lot Experience

Years ago I was hired to facilitate a training for the senior hospital staff at a Regional Medical Center in the midwest. These were the power people in the organization: Medical Administrator, Human Resources Manager, Head Nurse, etc. Our class was held at the local college and I arrived bright and early, parking way out in the north 40 where there were very few cars.

I was running a bit late, so I parked quickly, then set to work unloading all my trainer’s paraphernalia, flip charts, etc. When this chore was done, I stepped back and noticed I had parked my car off kilter. It was halfway into the next spot and crooked as a stock market chart.

I hesitated. I pondered. Should I move all my stuff out of the way, get back in the car and straighten it out? Or, should I just let it be, assuming few people would park that far out and be inconvenienced by my sloppy style?

But then, I thought about my audience. What if someone from my class was nearby in the parking lot and noticed my carelessness? What if that would taint their impression of me before the class even started? I didn’t want to take the chance, so I took the time to straighten out the car.

Coincidentally the class was all about Personality Styles and the DiSC Profile. Each one of them had taken the assessment and were eager to learn their results. I got the brilliant idea of using my parking lot story to illustrate differences between the styles.

I described my experience, including why I took the time to straighten out the car. I knew my group would be made up of analytical folks who value quality and accuracy and didn’t want to ruin my credibility even before the class started.

I said, “I didn’t want any of you thinking I was some kind of nut if you saw me parking my car that way.”

Sure enough, the head nurse spoke up. “I saw you out there and at first I did think you were crazy. I felt better about your abilities when I saw you come into class because you had moved your car. But if you hadn’t parked it differently, I would have thought this was going to be a total waste of my day.”

She assumed my lack of accuracy in the parking lot would transfer to the classroom. Thankfully I had redeemed myself!

The Moral of the Story

I cared more about making a good impression with my audience than being accurate. I couldn’t have cared less if my car was crooked. But I DID care about the participants and their assessment of my skills. Their ability to have a great learning experience was of primary concern.

We often judge people by their ability to excel in areas WE define as strengths. We will evaluate them more favorably if they possess the same primary traits we do. Likewise, we may not cut them a lot of slack if they lack that trait. While it makes sense for teams to be made up of people with differing strengths, the reality is, we judge success based on skills we value and possess.

Those medical folks expected me to be knowledgeable, accurate and credible. If I couldn’t show up that way, it would have impacted their willingness to accept what I had to say. They might have tuned me out from the start and also questioned their assessment results.

To clarify, it’s not that I can’t be accurate and focused on quality in my work (or even loading the dishwasher), but when push comes to shove, there are some things that are MORE important to me, such as interpersonal communication. That’s what drives me most of the time. What drives my husband, the engineer, is process and purpose.

How to Tell What Drives You

  • It is a strength that matters to us and a skill we want to be recognized for
  • It motivates us to do the things we do
  • It is the basis of how we judge ourselves and others
  • It’s a personal trait we take pride in more so than others
  • And while we possess degrees of all four behavioral styles, there’s usually one that takes precedence and another one we see as a weakness.

It doesn’t make us right or wrong to have a certain personality style, although it can have an impact on our relationships and success at work. It comes down to “fit” and whether we are motivated enough to adapt to others or the environment.

What’s next?

In the next four posts, I’ll explore each one of these personality styles so you can figure out what makes you tick. You’ll learn more about whether you’re in the right job or why you experience stress. Together we’ll explore how to better understand others.

I’ll share with you everything I’ve ever learned about personality styles — and all for free! Woohoo! Just promise you won’t hold it against me if I park creatively!

How to Squash Obnoxious Behavior

Never before had I left a training program worrying a participant might slash my tires.

But that was what I feared after presenting a class on interpersonal skills and how to communicate with difficult people.

The manager who hired me approached as I entered the room.

She whispered, “There will be a lady in your class today who is a real challenge. It won’t take you long to figure out who she is. I hope you can say something to change her behavior with co-workers.”

And she was right. Sitting near the front was a woman who couldn’t hide her unhappiness at having to be in this class. Her expressions were pure contempt.

She rolled her eyes continuously, laughed sarcastically and put on a side show that distracted all 50 people in the room.

At one point, we discussed how to handle people with strong personality styles and difficult behaviors with candor, coaching and courtesy. She snorted and rolled her eyes again. It was the perfect time to show the class and her manager how to handle the situation.

I looked at her. “You, for instance, may have a strong personality style, but my guess is you also have the backbone to handle candid feedback. Your eye rolling, snorting and dismissive behaviors are distracting everyone in the class.”

Crickets. Her face turned red. She sat quietly for the rest of the class, but if looks could kill.

Once the class was over, everyone but the lady with daggers in her eyes and her manager headed directly for the door. I listened calmly to the lambasting as her supervisor watched from the other side of the room. Then I said, “When you rolled your eyes and snorted it felt very disrespectful to me, your co-workers and your manager. Your behaviors were disrupting the class. I wanted you to realize the impact you were having on us all.”

She stormed from the room and I made a mental note to check my tires.

Her supervisor was visibly nervous. “Can you give me some tips on how to handle her? I’ve tried everything but, well, you can see how she is.”

“You’ve got two choices. Ignore her behaviors and they may get worse over time. You’ll lose good people who won’t want to put up with her and she’ll reflect poorly on your ability to manage. Or, you can document her behaviors and put her on a performance plan. Be clear about expectations, coach her on specific instances and give her positive feedback if you notice improvement. Otherwise, help her ‘self select’ to move on to another job or let her go.”

Over the years I’ve wondered if I handled it correctly. Should I have called for a break and taken her outside the room for a private coaching moment? Would it have made any difference? Or should I have ignored her behaviors?

Let me know what you think in the comments below.

P.S. My tires were fine.

5 Things Leaders Must Deliver for Better Engagement

People aren’t complicated. Human nature is fairly predictable. And we don’t need a plethora of rules and regulations to define every possible way a person might step out of line. Typically we can boil it all down to the basics — a few simple things most people want and deserve from the folks in charge.

The Principle of Legitimacy in Leadership

At the 1814 Congress of Vienna, an idea was proposed to help restore to power the lawful monarchs from royal families who ruled before Napoleon. Titled the Principle of Legitimacy, it was a governance guideline to ensure peace and order. It included five common sense concepts that most of us would agree should be the basis for sound leadership:

  1. Rules don’t change: people like to know what they can count on. No one likes to be evaluated against a moving target. Some say a sense of certainty is one of the greatest human needs.
  2. Authority is fair: remember when you were a kid and you got punished for something your sibling did? We didn’t like it then and now that we’re grown up, fairness is even more important. However, fair doesn’t always have to mean equal. People need different things and deserve to have their circumstances take into consideration.
  3. Things make sense: the reasonable person wants to see a pattern, cause of action, greater purpose and ends that justify the means. Nobody likes to feel like they fell down the rabbit hole. Too often policies are established that work for one team but are totally nonsensical for another.
  4. People have a voice: they want the opportunity to raise issues, express concerns, identify gaps. Freedom of speech is a bedrock right of the people of our nation. Many organizations do themselves in when people don’t feel free to speak up. Too many problems go unsolved because people don’t want to be labeled, “not a team player.”
  5. People need to be heard: some say we humans are one big walking ear. In over 35 studies, listening was identified as a top skill needed in business today. Yet, fewer than 2% of us receive training in listening skills. Read this Harvard Business review article on listening.

Ensure the above listed needs are addressed in every major workplace training such as internal and external customer service, employee engagement, job satisfaction, harassment prevention, teamwork, communication skills and leadership. Most definitely leadership. Then embed then in performance reviews for frontline supervisors, team leads or anyone managing a group of people for whatever purpose, even if it’s the neighborhood bake sale.

Another Approach to Leadership

Sometimes it’s easier to say what we won’t do versus what we shall do. Otherwise you have an increasingly long and complicated set of rules that try to capture every possible way people can mess up. (If you’ve been a supervisor, project lead, parent or teacher you know how creative people can be!)

You could define your mission by simply stating, “We agree to do nothing to embarrass our constituents, compromise our values or (the best one yet) require a lawyer.”

Or, “We agree to do nothing that is disrespectful to one another and requires an intervention from the boss or the Human Resources Department.”

Can you see how those simple statements could benefit a team when trying to establish norms of behavior? They define what people will NOT do versus what they SHOULD do. This limits the parameters greatly. You can start broad and then, if necessary, narrow the scope.

Why, even our U.S. Bill of Rights outlines governance using negative terms: “Congress shall make NO law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

The framers intent was obviously to give law-making power to Congress to lead within a framework of constraint.

What was true in 1787 and 1814 is still true today. Let’s keep things simple, easy to communicate, able to withstand the test of time and establish guidelines the average person can understand. That would make life a whole heckuva lot easier for people we interact with and ensure you get better engagement no matter what the project, policy or plan.

The IRS, Gossip and Infamous Anonymous Sources

During the early years in my business, I facilitated a contract training for an Employee Assistance Provider based in California. Usually I’d work in Colorado, but this time they sent me on a trip back east where I trained for Avon, an insurance company and the IRS, among a few others.

The IRS training was on Eldercare and it seemed to be a popular topic because the room was jammed with over 100 people in attendance. This issue hit home with numerous participants who were primary caregivers for a parent or other loved one. They were also juggling full time jobs, so they appreciated the tips and knowing they weren’t alone.

During one of our audience interaction segments (i.e. when the speaker asks you to turn to your neighbor and discuss X) people shared their own personal stories with one another. There were stories about healthcare situations, living conditions, home care helpers and stress. During that time, I moved around the room listening in and answering questions.

I hovered near one woman who was almost in tears. She told her co-workers all about the trauma of juggling so many responsibilities and watching her loved one go downhill so quickly.

“It’s just awful,” she said. “Every day I have to make sure she gets her food and her medicine. She’s gotten to the point where she can’t chew. Sometimes she wants to go out for a walk and other times she refuses. She has a skin condition and can’t stand the itching so there’s dry skin all over the place. To top it all off, her hair is falling out. I can’t handle this much longer. I just don’t know what I’m going to do.”

A man who was listening in from behind her leaned over and said, “Oh for gosh sakes, just have her put down!” The co-workers sitting nearby all nodded sympathetically.

I was aghast. I’d heard stories about the IRS, but this was beyond the pale. Why in the world would he say such a thing about this poor woman’s mother?

They must have noticed my mouth hanging wide open in horror.

“Her dog. She’s talking about her dog,” the man who advised her explained.

Relieved, I said, “I’d heard you folks were tough, but this was more than I expected!”

We all had a good laugh over it. So much for coming in on the “tail end” of a conversation.

And thus to my main point. Don’t believe everything you hear.

Today I heard yet another “news” story based on the world famous “Anonymous Sources.” These people seem to be everywhere and I am astonished at how often they are quoted. They must be very popular indeed AND hugely credible to be taken at their word without even showing their faces OR releasing their names. My gosh, people usually pay PR firms big bucks to be quoted that often and most don’t even mind giving up their true identities. But how much better is it to be quoted without being held accountable for what you are saying. Some would say, that’s the best of both worlds! Others would say it’s gossip.

Don’t you wish you had that kind of clout?

Now, those folks at the IRS spoke up and made it real clear real fast exactly who and what they were talking about because they wanted no misunderstanding. They didn’t want me leaving their office with a mistaken impression. Their reputations would be damaged. That would be horrible. (The IRS doesn’t need that kind of press.) And even worse, I’d be running around sharing a story that wasn’t even true. Imagine how embarrassing that would have been — for all of us!