Laura Lollar

Communication Consultant, Speaker, Writer

Business

Secrets of Your Personality Style

I get such a kick out of people-watching and personality styles. We never got much schooling on this when we were kids or even in college. So it was a real eye-opener to learn at work why we do the mystifying things we do. I’ve spent decades teaching corporate types and coaching clients about these skills and love seeing the looks on people’s faces when their personality assessment nails it. Nine times out of ten, they say it’s 90-95% accurate.

This article is not intended to sell you a personality assessment (although if you want one, I can certainly make that happen). It IS the first part of a mini-course on the four typical behavioral styles. You’ll find this of value in case you want to figure out your significant other, teenager, manager or do a deep dive into your own preferences. Even if you’ve taken an assessment in the past, I may explore some areas you didn’t get in a previous class.

In the next four articles, I’ll share the traits and strengths of each style. This post will kick it off with an overview. But first, a story!

My Parking Lot Experience

Years ago I was hired to facilitate a training for the senior hospital staff at a Regional Medical Center in the midwest. These were the power people in the organization: Medical Administrator, Human Resources Manager, Head Nurse, etc. Our class was held at the local college and I arrived bright and early, parking way out in the north 40 where there were very few cars.

I was running a bit late, so I parked quickly, then set to work unloading all my trainer’s paraphernalia, flip charts, etc. When this chore was done, I stepped back and noticed I had parked my car off kilter. It was halfway into the next spot and crooked as a stock market chart.

I hesitated. I pondered. Should I move all my stuff out of the way, get back in the car and straighten it out? Or, should I just let it be, assuming few people would park that far out and be inconvenienced by my sloppy style?

But then, I thought about my audience. What if someone from my class was nearby in the parking lot and noticed my carelessness? What if that would taint their impression of me before the class even started? I didn’t want to take the chance, so I took the time to straighten out the car.

Coincidentally the class was all about Personality Styles and the DiSC Profile. Each one of them had taken the assessment and were eager to learn their results. I got the brilliant idea of using my parking lot story to illustrate differences between the styles.

I described my experience, including why I took the time to straighten out the car. I knew my group would be made up of analytical folks who value quality and accuracy and didn’t want to ruin my credibility even before the class started.

I said, “I didn’t want any of you thinking I was some kind of nut if you saw me parking my car that way.”

Sure enough, the head nurse spoke up. “I saw you out there and at first I did think you were crazy. I felt better about your abilities when I saw you come into class because you had moved your car. But if you hadn’t parked it differently, I would have thought this was going to be a total waste of my day.”

She assumed my lack of accuracy in the parking lot would transfer to the classroom. Thankfully I had redeemed myself!

The Moral of the Story

I cared more about making a good impression with my audience than being accurate. I couldn’t have cared less if my car was crooked. But I DID care about the participants and their assessment of my skills. Their ability to have a great learning experience was of primary concern.

We often judge people by their ability to excel in areas WE define as strengths. We will evaluate them more favorably if they possess the same primary traits we do. Likewise, we may not cut them a lot of slack if they lack that trait. While it makes sense for teams to be made up of people with differing strengths, the reality is, we judge success based on skills we value and possess.

Those medical folks expected me to be knowledgeable, accurate and credible. If I couldn’t show up that way, it would have impacted their willingness to accept what I had to say. They might have tuned me out from the start and also questioned their assessment results.

To clarify, it’s not that I can’t be accurate and focused on quality in my work (or even loading the dishwasher), but when push comes to shove, there are some things that are MORE important to me, such as interpersonal communication. That’s what drives me most of the time. What drives my husband, the engineer, is process and purpose.

How to Tell What Drives You

  • It is a strength that matters to us and a skill we want to be recognized for
  • It motivates us to do the things we do
  • It is the basis of how we judge ourselves and others
  • It’s a personal trait we take pride in more so than others
  • And while we possess degrees of all four behavioral styles, there’s usually one that takes precedence and another one we see as a weakness.

It doesn’t make us right or wrong to have a certain personality style, although it can have an impact on our relationships and success at work. It comes down to “fit” and whether we are motivated enough to adapt to others or the environment.

What’s next?

In the next four posts, I’ll explore each one of these personality styles so you can figure out what makes you tick. You’ll learn more about whether you’re in the right job or why you experience stress. Together we’ll explore how to better understand others.

I’ll share with you everything I’ve ever learned about personality styles — and all for free! Woohoo! Just promise you won’t hold it against me if I park creatively!

25 Things I Wish I Knew Before Building My Business

Way back in 1997, I left my corporate job to start a consulting, training and facilitation company in Colorado. Yup, I took some classes about how to be a self-employed person and build a business. But there were things I never learned back then that would have saved me immense amounts of time, money and emotional energy. These are the kinds of things they don’t teach you in school.

You either get the knowledge through experience OR from someone who has been there, done that. I got two great pieces of advice from a mentor. He said, “Never be afraid to turn down business when it’s not the right kind of business or if you have doubts about the clients’ intentions.” He also said, “Keep your overhead low.”

It’s still hard to figure out some clients, but I’ve definitely kept the overhead low by working from a home office, driving a used car and learning how to build and manage my own website and blog.

So, the following tips are especially helpful for freelancers, those who have recently started building a small business, or anyone who has a regular job, but plans to go out on their own at some point in the future.

  1. Buy your name as a domain name and never let it go.
  2. Create a list. This is hugely important! Get ACT or another contact management software system, then build it up and back it up. Don’t rely on LinkedIn for your contacts list.
  3. Build a following of people who love you and value what you have to say, THEN create a product or service they want and will pay money for.
  4. Build an audience of blog/newsletter readers around shared interests (business, self-improvement, gardening, fishing, camping, antiques, etc.)
  5. Don’t wait to start your business until everything is perfect. Start and then adapt as you learn what people want and need.
  6. You will get rejected – often. Gird your loins and expect it to happen. Then you say, “next” and move onto the next project.
  7. Don’t wait for someone to give you permission or (like Seth Godin says) to “pick” you. Create the work you want to be part of. Pursue the clients you feel connected to and who can pay you. (That last part is important!)
  8. Some people will say they want to do business with you but they really want to: A. find out your pricing structure because they have a friend who is a competitor, or B. get a “third bid” so they can meet purchasing requirements. You will get wise to this and be able to detect when someone is pulling your chain. Consider it part of the learning curve.
  9. Write. Write articles, blog posts, tip sheets, white papers, newsletters, opinion pieces in the newspaper — anything that will help you educate others while showing your knowledge and experience.
  10. Most people I know don’t do just one thing. They piece it together. They set up multiple streams of income, all designed to serve one market.
  11. Keep your eyes peeled for people you’d like to do business with who can support you, such as a virtual assistant, graphic designer, accountant, IT person, etc. You will need them at some point.
  12. Don’t get intimidated by those who have established businesses and many clients in the same industry or line of work. They have worked hard to get there and were once where you are now. You will get there too!
  13. Leverage your personality, even if you are a bit quirky. Don’t try to blend in and be like everyone else. Let people know you are an introvert, you love bears or you make fabulous margaritas. Give them something positive to remember you by along with your business expertise.
  14. Get rid of that yahoo or hot mail email address and use a professional one, like BillSmith@BugZappers. com or Mary@BBQTips. com. Avoid info@XYZ. com — email distribution systems like Constant Contact will not like it and people won’t trust it.
  15. Buy small amounts of business cards so you don’t feel wasteful when you decide to change something on them — you will end up throwing them out.
  16. Don’t use a free blogging site (like Blogger) to host your website or blog. At some point you will realize you don’t own that real estate and it’ll be a pain to move everything over to your own self-hosted site.
  17. Pay off as many bills as possible before you start your business. Cut your monthly expenses. Learn how to live on less.
  18. Serve on a committee, a council, a commission for your community or industry.
  19. Be picky about the work you accept. Your reputation and sense of self-worth is on the line.
  20. Re-purpose work you’ve already done. Create templates and systems. Most of us aren’t creating from scratch.
  21. Commit one afternoon a week or hour each day to professional education. Listen to business or industry podcasts, read blogs and trade magazines, attend webinars, etc.
  22. You don’t have to be a social media whiz kid to have it work for you. Have patience. Be friendly. Pick one or two platforms and forget the rest for now. Invite people to friend or follow you. And don’t get hung up on the numbers. Be in it for the long haul.
  23. Be there for other business owners. Being self-employed can be tough. You’re usually in it all by yourself. Be generous with your encouragement and support.
  24. Remember, one phone call or email can change everything. Just because you’re struggling this month doesn’t mean it will stay that way. Every day you get a new opportunity to make things better, do good work and help someone out.
  25. Don’t be afraid to stand out. There is a risk you take by trying to be like everyone else in your industry — by designing your website the same, using similar language on those awful tri-fold brochures, choosing a business name with words like “solutions” or “resources.” The risk? You’ll be lost in the crowd. So, take a stand on something that’s meaningful to you. Leverage your name, a hobby, family history, the distinctive car you drive, the color of your hair or the method you use to solve problems. Find something that will help you stand out from the pack, so you will be memorable.

Don’t let this list discourage you. If I had it to do over again, I’d follow the same path. Being self employed is one of the most worthwhile and personally rewarding things I’ve ever done. Despite all the ups and downs, I have learned more than I ever expected and been able to serve so many wonderful folks along the way!