Colorado author and writer Laura Lollar

4 Behaviors That Ruin Relationships from Dr. John Gottman

I can’t tell you how many times over the years I’ve heard people say that good communication is one of the most important aspects of any successful relationship. I agree, but defining what that means in terms of specific behaviors is often a struggle. People have a hard time naming traits that make someone a good communicator. Listening and asking open-ended questions are usually mentioned. There are also things we should not do. These are behaviors that can kill communication and ruin …

To Have a Bigger Influence Go for No

There’s an old sales trick that if you can get your prospect to answer “yes” to a series of basic questions, it follows that they’ll be more likely to eventually say “yes” to your service or product. So they ask questions like, “Do you want to save money? Would you like to take 10 years off your appearance? Can you give me your credit card number?” Etc. Then they stick the pen in your hand, shove the contract across the table and you’re done for. We prefer “yes” responses. It’s …

Create Candor – The Best Way to Earn Respect

I once worked for a career outplacement firm (supporting people who lost their jobs) and had a client who was very smart and accomplished. After a few sessions together, he landed an interview for a job he really wanted. So we practiced his interview skills, including body language. He answered all the practice questions well. He was dressed meticulously and he smiled at least four times during our session — one of the best ways to ace an interview. But he couldn’t keep his eyes off …

Why It’s Better to Set Boundaries Than Resolutions

Are you ready to set your New Year’s resolutions? Do you remember the ones you set last year? If you remember, are you still maintaining them? Resolutions are notoriously unstable. We make our list and then sometime during the course of the year, we forget to adhere to what’s on the list. Maybe we justify our lack of follow-through with other “more important” priorities. Unless we make it public or choose an accountability partner, we skip out on our commitments because (shhh!) nobody else …

5 Steps to Learned Optimism

What better time of the year to have an optimistic point of view than during the holidays! While the birth of Jesus is a time for celebration, some find it difficult to be cheerful due to personal disappointments, tragedy or bad memories from years past. That’s why this article is dedicated to learned optimism and how to achieve it! How to Learn Optimism “When we explain bad events as the result of permanent, pervasive, and personal traits (like self-talk that we’re a lousy person) …

Four Small Ways to Make People Feel Special

How to make people feel special. My daughter bought small Christmas stockings for the employees on her team. She also bought “puffer” paints so they could write their names on the stockings. She plans to put a small treat into each one every day. I was so proud of her efforts to make her people feel special and celebrate the holidays at the same time. It was a very creative and thoughtful thing to do — a small thing that brought fun and good feelings to her team. It has made her happy …

3 Ways To Build Creativity

In thinking about ways to build creativity I remembered a story from my years in Human Resources. My manager had called me in for my annual performance appraisal. She was pleased overall and I was thankful. But she finished our meeting by saying, “Laura, if there’s anything you could do differently, I would like to see you be more creative.” Since she was my boss, very experienced, accomplished and smart, I believed her. And I spent the next 15 years thinking she was right. That is, until …

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” ―Ralph Waldo Emerson

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