The Fastest Way to Get What You Want

We’re building a new house and out back under the decking, a momma robin decided to build her nest despite the construction. But since the decking wasn’t completed and there were missing planks above the nest, we got a “bird’s eye” view of the baby robins just inches below.

We could see our four feathered friends, mouths open wide, cheeping up a storm waiting for mom to fill those gaping gullets. If you look close enough you can almost see way down past their tonsils and into their little tummies!

What We Learned About Robins

We take robins for granted — at least I did. But this up close experience prompted us to learn more about our noisy neighbors. Did you know…?

• The American Robin is the most abundant land bird in North America
• The oldest recorded American Robin was 13 years and 11 months old, but the average lifespan is two years
• The entire Robin population turns over on average every six years
• Robins can produce three successful broods in one year, but only 25% of the young survive to November.
• The nest is built by the female alone and is incubated by the female
• The eggs hatch after 14 days and the chicks leave the nest two weeks later
• If hatchlings delay leaving the nest, the female will stop feeding them. (Don’t try that at home!)
• When they do leave the nest, they hang out with their dad and his pals up in the trees

Robins grow quickly because they don’t simply sit in the corner of the nest politely waiting for momma to lay food at their feet. These little peepers don’t hesitate to ask for what they want. They’re not shy. As you can see by their open beaks, they speak up!

Ask and You Shall Receive

My grandfather used to say, “If you don’t ask, you don’t get.” In contrast, there’s a saying, “All good things come to those who wait,” which advocates for having patience. But too often, waiting around will leave you standing alone and waiting forever.

Nora Roberts, American Author said, “If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.”

We need to be willing to open our mouths and ask for what we want. It’s a risk worth taking. People can’t read your mind, whether it’s a customer, loved one or employer. And if they say “no” at least you’re now sure of their position — for the present anyway.

How to Get What You Want

Here are nine useful tips on how to get what you want, paraphrased from an article in Psychology Today:

1. Make your request reasonable: ask for what you think that person could do for you. Avoid asking for things that are out of reach. Ask for what’s possible.
2. Give a single reason for your request: don’t pile on the reasons. People get overwhelmed if you spill your entire wish list in one setting. Ask for the most important request so people can focus.
3. Tell yourself you’re worth it: Women in particular struggle to ask for what we want, especially salary increases. “Men are four times more likely than women to ask for a raise—and when women do ask, we typically request 30% less than men do,” says Carnegie Mellon University economics professor Linda Babcock, co-author of Women Don’t Ask.
4. Write down the basis for your request before making it to help you organize your thoughts. You won’t have to do this for small requests but it’ll help you prepare for the more important asks.
5. Be aware of the other person’s state of being: postpone your request if the other person seems stressed. Perhaps it’s better to come back another time rather than run the risk they won’t be in the right state of mind to say “yes” to your request..
6. Be nice: say it with a smile. Another famous old saying, “You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” Assume the best and be prepared to be pleasantly surprised.
7. Be honest: don’t be manipulative by doing a “bait and switch.” Some think that by asking for the moon, then backing down to what they originally wanted it will increase your chances of a positive response. But some may see through your ploy and resent your tactics.
8. Give the person a way out without damaging the relationship: don’t give an ultimatum, instead offer alternatives where you still win.
9. Don’t pout or sulk if you don’t get your way: your attitude could close off chances of a positive response in the future. Some people need time to ponder your request and may come back to you later with a “yes.”

Now’s the Time to Ask

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8)

So, is there something you’ve been wanting, but you’ve been hesitant to ask? Perhaps it’s time to step up and pose the question.

And, if you did ask for something, were you pleasantly surprised to have your request agreed to? Was it as hard as you had imagined it would be?

Tell us about your experiences in the comments below.

Quotes

“Don’t downgrade your dream just to fit your reality; upgrade your conviction to match your destiny.” —Stuart Scott

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide you’re not going to stay where you are.” —John Pierpont Morgan

“Progress, not perfection is what we should be asking of ourselves.” —Julie Cameron