(Photo by yours truly: Reinventing the Privy, Outhouse Races, Black Forest Festival, near Colorado Springs)
What You’ll Find Below:
- An announcement!
- Guest Appearance with Kristi Keller
- Life and Leadership Tip: Self-control
- Guest Post from RC: Self-restraint
- Small Business Tip: Collaboration
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I Have An Announcement!
Before we dig into today’s articles…
I have an announcement! After 25+ years, I’ve decided to close my coaching services. I know some of you may be surprised to hear that, but yes it’s true. (My consulting work and speaking will continue though.)
I want to focus on my writing and creating a soon-to-launch podcast. (My own personal Reinvention at work!) I’m taking to heart lessons learned from the book, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown.
In the meantime, I’ve discovered a very bright and accomplished woman who has valuable insights for those of you pursuing change in your life, leadership or business. So here’s what Kristi Keller taught me about Reinvention…
A Guest Appearance
Kristi Keller specializes in helping people with reinvention. Her newsletter is at wildhoodwanted.substack.com and on it she features zoom sessions in her “Reinvention Room”.
Her recent session was for those of you who have reached the point where you’ve said (with exasperation), “I can’t keep doing this anymore!”
Perhaps Kristi’s questions below will help you work through that place of frustration so you can find a path to the next best thing. So, grab yourself a quiet spot, some paper, a pen and a mug of something soothing.
Here goes:
- Can you remember the moment a little voice inside you said, “Something needs to change!”
- What was happening in your life at that time?
- Did you act on it immediately, or did you sit with it for a while?
- What did that moment teach you?
- What triggered your breaking point or turning point?
- Which emotions were the strongest? (What am I doing with my life?)
- What did you lose and what did you find?
- Who supported you and who didn’t?
- What shift began in you after that moment?
- What’s different in your life today because of it?
You’ve faced hard things before…
- Choose one thing you’re ready to commit to now…
- One story you’re ready to stop telling yourself so you can start a new story…
- Power statement: reframe your breaking point as a breakthrough point
Pretty good insights, right? Click here to watch her full episode.
“My life is my message.” —Mahatma Gandhi, lawyer
Today’s Life and Leadership Tip
The best way to improve your credibility: develop self-control.
It’s amazing how many people “lose it” by venting, getting defensive, attacking others, shaming others, etc.
I heard about a small business owner who would regularly rant in front of (and about) his employees and anyone else who would listen. People hid when they saw him coming. They felt like they were walking on eggshells around him, fearful of the next explosion.
Some say that kind of anger is really depression in disguise. I’m no doctor, but there’s got to be something that triggers those kind of outbursts.
Self-confident people don’t need to shout. But it’s a likely reaction from those with an inferiority complex, low self-esteem, insecurity, feelings of inadequacy or shame.
The ability to control yourself, especially during times of stress, is the sign of a mature person and a skilled leader.
Being kind, gracious and patient speaks volumes about you. Self-control is an excellent skill to develop.
And, if you’re in a position to do so, it’s very worthwhile to coach this person to help them build restraint in their personal life and work.
Guest Post from RC
RC is another very talented writer you can find at Fresh Layers on Substack. He writes…
“You just watched your most respected colleague lose all credibility in a single meeting.
(have you been in such a situation before? I’ve been..)
One poorly timed interruption. One defensive response. One moment of ego over evidence.
Years of expertise → gone in 90 seconds.
Here’s what most people miss about authority:
It’s not built through credentials or titles. It’s built through restraint.
The surgeon who operates with precision → not the one who talks about every procedure.
The negotiator who listens first → not the one who dominates every conversation.
The leader who asks questions → not the one with all the answers.
Authority accumulates in the quiet moments:
↳ When you choose understanding over being understood
↳ When you let your work speak before your words
↳ When you master the pause before the response
But here’s the brutal truth:
All that accumulated trust can vanish instantly.
One reactive email sent in anger. One public disagreement handled poorly. One moment where ego overrides judgment.
The paradox of influence:
— Takes years to build
— Takes seconds to destroy
— Requires constant discipline to maintain
Your reputation isn’t what you say about yourself. It’s what others remember when you’re not in the room.
Build it quietly. Protect it fiercely.”
Small Business Tip
I’ve been writing on Substack for over a year now and continue to be amazed at how generous people are on the platform. It’s not like other sites where you share the work you’ve labored over with your sweat and tears and get no response from anyone.
On Substack, people share your work, comment and encourage one another. Friendships are formed and people do business with one another. The ability to recommend one another’s newsletters is a feature built into the software. That’s how many of my new subscribers find me. (Shout out and many thanks to Jenn Woltjen)
I’m sure you learned this a long time ago, but in case you’ve forgotten or you’re a newbie, here’s a great way to succeed in business:
Cross-promote.
- Look for ways to help one another out
- Refer business to people you like and trust
- Find complementary businesses to actively collaborate with one another
- Quote them to others when they’ve said something particularly insightful
- Compliment the person in front of others (especially when the person is not around)
Antique stores position themselves near one another knowing that when people are looking for antiques, they’ll often walk from one store to another. Some even pass out coupons for neighboring stores. This is how they thrive.
After all, we’re all in this together!
“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.” —Mother Teresa, saint
Thanks as always for tuning in. I’ll be back with you next week with more ideas, insights and encouragement!
Warm regards, Laura
Wait! Don’t rush off!
I’ve put together 27 ways to transform your small business venture, freelance project or ‘suddenly unemployed’ entrepreneurship gig. I quit my job with $700 in the bank and three kids to feed 25 years ago then launched my business the very next day. I’ve learned some things along the way that can help you! Grab your 27 Tips here. —Warm regards, Laura
Extra Reading
And in case you missed it, here’s the full story about how I became “unexpectedly unemployed!”