Every year I struggle with the decision of whether I should make a New Year’s resolution or not. Given my track record, I haven’t always had the best luck meeting my good intentions. After all, I still have those same stubborn 10 pounds to lose. So this year I went in search of advice to help me decide: 1) whether I should make the effort to set a resolution and 2) what would help me increase my chances of success?
Who Believes in Resolutions?
At dinner last night I asked my husband if he believed in New Year’s Resolutions and found he doesn’t. He told me, “If you’re going to make a change you can do it anytime throughout the year. There’s no reason to wait for New Year’s. If you plan to start a new habit, just start it as soon as you conceive of it.” I found a lot of common sense in that approach. He’s very pragmatic.
My husband is not alone in his perspective. A majority of us never set a New Year’s Resolution. A 2019 YouGov survey of 1200 U.S. adults showed that 60% of us don’t. Of those that do, however, 16 percent kept all their resolutions and 44 percent kept at least some of them by the end of the year. Likewise, a study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology reported that 46% of people who made New Year’s resolutions were successful. So, there’s hope for those of us who decide to make the commitment to start fresh.
Starting Over
Starting fresh is such an attractive concept there’s even a name for it — the Fresh Start Effect. This is where people determine they’re going to start over, then set a date on the calendar to signal the new beginning. This psychological tool can inspire a shift in mind set and provide motivation to advance major life changes. There’s a sense of excitement in starting something new. Starting over gives us a sense of hope that things can get better. And the great part is, it’s totally within your control. Read more on the three main reasons for the power of the Fresh Start Effect.
Set a Theme
Rather than setting a resolution, try setting a theme for your New Year. This offers a broader perspective, allows for flexibility and leaves yourself open to adopt a number of new behaviors. So rather than just stating you’ll lose ten pounds, set “better health” as your theme. That way you can adopt a number of positive new changes such as taking a daily walk and drinking more water. Those new opportunities for better health will give you a deeper sense of well-being and if you forget to do one of them, you have the other behaviors to prove to yourself you’re fulfilling your commitment so you don’t feel like a failure.
Rate Success Differently
Years ago when my daughter was in high school, she was at risk of failing one of the classes she needed to graduate. She was discouraged and had no idea how close she was to that “pass/fail” boundary. I asked her to find out from her teacher what she could do to push her over the finish line and to her surprise, she only had to write one paper. It gave her renewed hope to learn how close she was to success.
Too often we give ourselves a “pass/fail” rating of success. We overlook how close we’ve come to reaching our goal and give up five minutes before the miracle, so to speak. Rather than grading yourself on a pass/fail basis, consider using a thermometer graphic so you can see how close you’ve come to success. You can also use a monthly chart to rate your actions as: Always, Mostly, Seldom, Never. Mostly is still a commendable outcome. It’s better than nothing, right? The goal is to keep you motivated so you can persevere.
How to Follow Through
Perseverance is the hard part. If you’re like me, I start off with a bang, then lose steam along the way. My motivation falters and I find myself “forgetting” to do the things I’d promised myself I would do. In case you’re looking for ways to follow through on your resolutions, I found this article helpful, 10 Most Common New Year’s Resolutions (and How to Follow Through on Them).
A Better Approach
I think most of us have a desire to make improvements in our lives. That’s why the book Atomic Habits by James Clear was such a hit. In it he says if you’re having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn’t you. “The problem is your system. Bad habits repeat themselves not because you don’t want to change but because you have the wrong system for change.” And he states that tiny changes can make a big difference.
So whether you plan to set a resolution on the New Year, or make a change for the better at some point later in the year, choose a change that is specific and measurable so you know when you are successful. Embrace small steps. Make it something that makes you feel good so you will keep it up. And tell your family and friends about it so they can congratulate your wins.
The exciting part about the New Year is that it brings hope of new opportunities so we can lead happier, healthier lives — no matter how, or when, we decide to pursue them.
Additional Reading
How to Make the Most of Life – Part One
How to Make the Most of Life – Part Two