We had a very sad time of it this past week. My daughter’s dog, Penny, had to be put to sleep. She was 14 years old and was the sweetest dog ever. Anyone who has had a bird dog, ranch dog or family pet will be able to relate to the sadness one feels when losing an animal. My daughter and Penny have lived with us for a time. When Kim was at work, Penny would follow me around the house like a shadow and curl up at my feet in my office. We’d feed her and groom her. She was part of the family.
A Heavy Loss to Handle
But a month ago she began to fail. At first we noticed her heavy breathing when she climbed a few stairs. Then she refused to eat her food and we changed brands. But after she soon refused that brand also, we changed to moist food. When my daughter took her to the vet, they found she was anemic, a sign there could be an ulcer or maybe cancer lurking. Next, a trip to the animal hospital and an ultrasound confirmed the worst. She was riddled with tumors and they were pressing against her lungs and heart. No wonder she was having trouble breathing.
My daughter was devastated. She said, “The vet didn’t give me any other options.” But weeks before, she had started to make peace with the fact she could lose Penny. Emotionally she knew her beloved dog wouldn’t last long. Seeing the ultrasound slides just proved the inevitable. My daughter’s instincts and emotions were right on — the vet confirmed Penny needed to be put out of pain.
A Key Factor Driving Your Decisions
Researchers have found that we make decisions with our emotions first, then follow with logic. Neuroscientist Antonio Damasio proved that emotions guide decisions. He found that people who had damage to the limbic system, the emotional center of the brain, had a difficult if not impossible time making decisions. They didn’t have their emotions to guide them.
“We often apply logic after the fact to avoid the pain of cognitive dissonance. What Damasio proved, is that for humans, decisions begin with emotion. We feel and then we think.” (Sales EQ, by Jeb Blount)
How We Avoid Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive dissonance is when we’re faced with contradictory beliefs, which then causes stress. We resist taking actions that contravene our values or are inconsistent with a prior commitment. This is why it’s so hard to persuade your teenaged daughter that her new boyfriend is no good for her. She’s already made an emotional choice and does not wish to appear incongruent with her decision, despite sound reasoning from her folks.
To avoid cognitive dissonance, we make decisions first with emotion, then find proof to validate our choice. So, if we see ourself as a frugal person, we act in ways that support that perspective — by shopping at Goodwill vs Macy’s, clipping coupons or choosing the cheapest meal at the restaurant. To do otherwise would contradict the belief we held about ourself and result in stress.
It was a very tough decision for my daughter to put Penny down. I admire her for the way she handled it, knowing that to do otherwise would cause her pet more suffering. She did the right thing — she didn’t want to see her in pain. The logic of it made the emotional decision easier to bear. We all miss her, and despite our tears, we’re thankful we had the time to love her as much as we did!
What’s your opinion? Do you believe that logic follows emotion? Have your emotions influenced your decision making? For better or for worse? Please feel free to discuss in the comments below.